Ever said something like, “My friend and I’s car got towed”? You’re not alone. It’s one of those phrases that sound natural in casual speech yet make grammarians cringe.
The problem lies in how English handles possessives with pronouns.
The short answer? “And I’s” is not correct grammar. English simply doesn’t allow the pronoun I to take an apostrophe + s (‘s) to show possession.
But there’s more to the story. To understand why people say it and how to fix it, we need to break down the logic behind English possessives, pronouns, and shared ownership.
Breaking Down the Problem
When someone says “My friend and I’s house,” what they mean is the house belonging to both of us. So the intention is fine — the form isn’t.
Here’s the issue:
- The phrase combines a noun (friend) and a subject pronoun (I).
- You can add ‘s to a noun to show possession (friend’s), but you can’t add ‘s to I.
That’s why “I’s” looks and sounds wrong — it doesn’t exist in English grammar.
This confusion happens because English lacks a clean rule for joint possession involving pronouns. Let’s unpack how possessives actually work.
Understanding Pronoun Possession in English
Pronouns don’t use apostrophes to form the possessive. Instead, they transform into completely different words.
Here’s a quick look at how pronouns change depending on their role in a sentence:
| Type | Subject Pronoun | Object Pronoun | Possessive Adjective | Possessive Pronoun |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1st Person Singular | I | me | my | mine |
| 2nd Person Singular | you | you | your | yours |
| 3rd Person Singular (M) | he | him | his | his |
| 3rd Person Singular (F) | she | her | her | hers |
| 1st Person Plural | we | us | our | ours |
| 3rd Person Plural | they | them | their | theirs |
👉 Notice: there’s no “I’s” in the possessive column. The possessive form of I is my or mine.
So when you combine I with another person in a possessive phrase, you can’t just tack on an apostrophe — you have to restructure the sentence entirely.
Why “My Friend and I’s” Is Grammatically Wrong
Let’s look at the anatomy of this incorrect phrase:
❌ My friend and I’s apartment is downtown.
At first glance, you might think adding ‘s to the end covers both my friend and I. But grammatically, it doesn’t. The structure collapses because I’s is not a valid form.
Here’s why:
- Apostrophes mark possession only for nouns and noun-like words.
- Pronouns like I switch to my or mine to show possession.
✅ Correct Versions:
- My friend’s and my apartment is downtown.
- The apartment belonging to my friend and me.
- Our apartment is downtown.
Each of these conveys joint ownership correctly without breaking grammar rules.
How to Correctly Show Joint Ownership
When two or more people share ownership, English gives you two clear rules depending on whether the ownership is joint or separate.
Rule 1: Shared Ownership — Add ‘s to the Last Noun Only
If both people own something together, only the last noun gets the apostrophe.
✅ Jack and Jill’s house is on the hill.
(They share one house.)
Rule 2: Separate Ownership — Add ‘s to Each Noun
If each person owns something individually, add ‘s to both.
✅ Jack’s and Jill’s cars are parked outside.
(Each has their own car.)
Now, apply that logic to pronouns. Because pronouns don’t take ‘s, we must replace them with possessive adjectives:
✅ My brother’s and my project won first place.
🚫 My brother and I’s project won first place.
See how my works naturally without an apostrophe? That’s how you keep it grammatical.
Common Alternatives and Natural Rephrasings
Sometimes, the most natural solution is to rewrite the sentence. Overly formal constructions like “my friend’s and my house” can sound stiff. Rephrasing makes them flow better.
Here are smoother alternatives:
| Wordy / Incorrect | Better & Natural |
|---|---|
| My wife and I’s car | The car that my wife and I own |
| He and I’s plan | Our plan |
| My brother and I’s idea | The idea that my brother and I came up with |
| Me and John’s project | John’s and my project / Our project |
👉 Tip: When it sounds awkward, rewrite using our, their, or the … belonging to.
Mixing Pronouns: “He and I’s,” “He and My,” “His and My”
This is where things get interesting. People often say “He and I’s schedule” — but again, I’s doesn’t exist.
However, his and my does work because both his and my are possessive adjectives.
✅ Correct:
- His and my schedules conflict.
- Her and my offices are next to each other.
❌ Incorrect:
- He and I’s schedules conflict.
- Him and I’s meeting got canceled.
The trick is to match grammatical types. Both words need to be possessive adjectives, not a mix of pronouns and possessives.
Grammar Fact: English doesn’t allow mismatched possessive constructions (like one pronoun + one noun in possessive form) without creating awkwardness or error.
Common Grammar Mistakes with Possessives
English learners often confuse possession, plurals, and contractions. Let’s fix those once and for all.
| Mistake Type | Wrong Example | Right Example | Explanation |
|---|---|---|---|
| Plural vs Possessive | The Smith’s live here. | The Smiths live here. | Apostrophes don’t make plurals. |
| Joint Possession | Jack’s and Jill’s house | Jack and Jill’s house | Shared ownership = one apostrophe. |
| Separate Possession | Jack and Jill’s cars | Jack’s and Jill’s cars | Separate ownership = two apostrophes. |
| Pronoun Confusion | Its a nice day. | It’s a nice day. | “It’s” = “it is”; “its” = possessive. |
| Overuse of Apostrophes | 1990’s music | 1990s music | Apostrophes aren’t needed in decades. |
Mini Guide: How to Test If Your Sentence Is Correct
Here’s a quick trick to check if your possessive phrase works.
The Substitution Test
Replace the entire phrase with a single pronoun like our or their. If the sentence still makes sense, you’re good.
Example:
- “My wife and I’s car” → Replace with our car ✅
- “My friend’s and my house” → Replace with our house ✅
- “He and I’s project” → Replace with our project ✅
If substitution works smoothly, your grammar is correct. If it sounds broken, rephrase.
Visual Flowchart: Quick Decision Path
Do both people own it together?
↓
Yes → Use 's on the last noun → “John and Mary’s house”
No → Add 's to both → “John’s and Mary’s cars”
↓
If pronoun involved?
↓
Yes → Use possessive adjective → “His and my plan”
Case Study: Real-Life Usage Errors
Let’s look at some real-world examples found in social media posts and conversation, and see how to fix them.
| Real Example | Why It’s Wrong | Fixed Version |
|---|---|---|
| “Me and my wife’s photo” | “Me” can’t be used as possessive | “My wife’s and my photo” or “Our photo” |
| “He and I’s trip to Florida” | “I’s” is not valid | “His and my trip to Florida” |
| “John and I’s anniversary dinner” | Invalid possessive | “John’s and my anniversary dinner” or “Our anniversary dinner” |
| “My friend and I’s new business” | “I’s” incorrect | “My friend’s and my new business” |
Quote: “Good grammar doesn’t just make you sound educated — it makes your meaning crystal clear.” – Anonymous Linguist
Quick Reference Table: Correct vs. Incorrect Phrases
| Incorrect Phrase | Correct Form | Why |
|---|---|---|
| My friend and I’s house | My friend’s and my house | Both must show possession |
| He and I’s plans | His and my plans | “His” and “my” are possessive adjectives |
| Me and John’s idea | John’s and my idea | “Me” can’t take an apostrophe |
| I’s phone | My phone | “I’s” doesn’t exist |
| She and I’s project | Her and my project | Use possessive adjectives |
Common Confusions Explained
Let’s clear up some closely related possessive issues that trip people up.
Plural vs Possessive: “Thursdays” vs “Thursday’s”
- Thursdays = plural (more than one Thursday).
- Thursday’s = possessive (something belonging to Thursday).
✅ “We meet on Thursdays.”
✅ “Thursday’s meeting was canceled.”
“I Will Like To” vs “I Would Like To”
“I will like to” implies future enjoyment.
“I would like to” is polite and correct when making requests.
✅ “I would like to order coffee.”
“Most Recent”
Yes, “most recent” is correct. It’s a superlative adjective used for the newest in time or order.
✅ “This is our most recent update.”
“Upon Receiving” vs “When Receiving”
Both are correct, but upon receiving sounds more formal.
✅ “Upon receiving the package, sign here.”
✅ “When receiving the package, check the contents.”
Mastering Possessives: Tips to Avoid Common Errors
If you want your English to sound polished and natural, keep these rules handy.
- Never use “I’s.” Replace it with my or mine.
- Use possessive adjectives (my, your, his, her, our, their) when combining with other owners.
- Rephrase awkward phrases — clarity beats formality.
- Double-check for apostrophe overuse. Not every word ending in “s” needs one.
- Read aloud. If it sounds strange, it probably is.
“Language is logic wrapped in rhythm.” When your grammar flows, your message resonates.
FAQs About “and I’s” and Possessive Grammar
Is “and I’s” ever grammatically correct?
No. English doesn’t form possessives from I using ‘s. Always use my or mine instead.
Can I say “my friend’s and my house”?
Yes. It’s correct, though slightly formal. You can also say “Our house.”
Is “he and my” correct grammar?
Yes, if both are possessive adjectives — his and my idea is correct.
Should I use “me and my” or “my and me”?
Neither. Use my and [noun] or rephrase the sentence. Our is often smoother.
What’s the simplest way to fix “and I’s”?
Replace it with my, our, or the [thing] that [person] and I own.
Conclusion
The possessive in English can be tricky, especially with combinations like “my friend and I’s.”
But the fix is straightforward once you understand the logic. Never attach ‘s to I. Use my or our instead.
When in doubt, rewrite. A clear sentence always beats a forced one.
✅ “Our car.”
✅ “The car that my wife and I own.”
✅ “My friend’s and my project.”
Small adjustments like these make your writing sound fluent, natural, and grammatically correct.
I’m Sameer — a passionate English enthusiast who loves exploring words, grammar, and the art of effective communication. ✍️